"On the Beat" - Change in Appearance & Uncertain Paternity

Q: At my last visit to the hair salon, my stylist told me that I needed to cut my hair, due to extreme breakage. I was nervous because the cut would leave my hair very short and my boyfriend once told me that he would never date a woman with short hair. I got it cut, anyway, because I knew that I had to – if I wanted to grow long and healthy hair. When I got home and showed my boyfriend my new look, he left. We haven’t spoken in a week. Should I assume that it’s over between us?

Side A: You can easily assume that because of his prior comment and his response to your new hairstyle. But, it’s better to be certain that it’s over than to assume that it is. If you haven’t already done so, reach out to him. Let him know that it’s important that you two speak, soon. Give him an extra week to respond. If he doesn’t, let your new hairstyle be the starting point to your newly single, fabulous life!

Side B: Not yet. Yes, the fact that he left doesn’t help to keep you from assuming the worst. But, maybe you should consider assuming the best. It’s possible that it’s not over, but he just needed some space. Or, in addition to this, something else came up. Regardless, only time will tell. So, give him another week or two to come around, before you accept his silence as the end to your relationship.

Q: A month ago, I had a one-night stand with this guy that I used to date. Things didn’t work out between us, so I just kept it moving. I found out, earlier this week, that I’m pregnant. I’m scared because I’m not sure who the father is, since I slept with another ex-boyfriend a week before I slept with the other ex-boyfriend. How should I approach these two guys about this? I don’t want my child growing up without a father.

Side A: Honesty and communication is key. And time is of the essence. You should have an open discussion with each of them, separately, immediately. Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until the baby is born, in order to do a DNA test. You could schedule a prenatal DNA test, within the first or second trimester. This way, you can know the results and better plan for the future of your child, sooner.

Side B: I’d suggest taking a direct approach, like meeting in person, to reduce the risk of unreturned phone calls and other similar, typical responses. Next, I’d definitely have a DNA test done, as soon as possible.

The only advice column that spins both sides of the truth, today’s topic: Advice Column 15, relationship challenges: handling a change in appearance and uncertain paternity.

Side A: You can easily assume that because of his prior comment and his response to your new hairstyle. But, it’s better to be certain that it’s over than to assume that it is. If you haven’t already done so, reach out to him. Let him know that it’s important that you two speak, soon. Give him an extra week to respond. If he doesn’t, let your new hairstyle be the starting point to your newly single, fabulous life!

Side B: Not yet. Yes, the fact that he left doesn’t help to keep you from assuming the worst. But, maybe you should consider assuming the best. It’s possible that it’s not over, but he just needed some space. Or, in addition to this, something else came up. Regardless, only time will tell. So, give him another week or two to come around, before you accept his silence as the end to your relationship.

Side A: Honesty and communication is key. And time is of the essence. You should have an open discussion with each of them, separately, immediately. Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until the baby is born, in order to do a DNA test. You could schedule a prenatal DNA test, within the first or second trimester. This way, you can know the results and better plan for the future of your child, sooner.

Side B: I’d suggest taking a direct approach, like meeting in person, to reduce the risk of unreturned phone calls and other similar, typical responses. Next, I’d definitely have a DNA test done, as soon as possible.

– About Ms. Boogie:

Born a pineapple, bred an apple, and now, a peach, Ms. Boogie currently resides in Atlanta, GA. Besides writing, she also has an interest in radio broadcasting. You can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/joncierrienecker and/or follow her on Twitter @jrienecker.

Look out for the next “On the Beat” with Ms. Boogie! This has been Advice Column 15, relationship challenges: handling a change in appearance and uncertain paternity

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